In January 2019 Meghan Markle and prince Harry were only 8 months into their marriage, already with a baby on the way, barely three years together. On paper, they had everything going their way: love, fame and prestige.
However, through the smiles – that weren’t as happy if you would observe even then – there was a nightmare going on.
As we understand now, they have been crying for help for a while when these pictures were taken. In fact, Meghan was crying as, at this point, she was suicidal.
It is said that Harry got hurt with his brother when he, allegedly trying to help, suggested for the couple to wait longer before marrying. It’s a grey area to really understand which “family” he meant when he talked as it is a job as much as it is in fact, a family. It’s tricky, demanding and complicated it is for anyone to opt to get in. In a way, nothing has proved William wrong so far when he gave his advise, which doesn’t mean he is right neither.
It’s hard to take sides on this. It really is. When Harry says he knows his brother and father are “trapped”, he is being compassionated to both, not patronizing. Otherwise he would have to see them as monsters. He is only sad that he had to chose a side and the ongoing expectation was that he would have made a different choice.
When Harry complains about the fact people considers swallowing sadness as a sign of strength, he feels that he has to give personal examples to sustain his point of view, which is impossible without exposing his grandmother most of all. Because, in the end, as much as he names/blames his dad first, Queen Elizabeth, as Andrew Morton shows on his latest book, hates confrontation, and she the one who dictates the rules. She is a firm believer of duty before love and in almost seven decades as a ruler, she never bent to reconsider it. Casualties came and went and that’s what it is. In a way, that’s what the media is playing with when Meghan and Harry are coming clean: all victims are blaming each other and trying to cope with “the rules” and it’s not up for them to change at this point.
Now, about princess Diana and her legacy.
Diana’s motivations to speak out weren’t the same as her son’s. She walked into a trap – a loveless marriage – hoping to be able to win her husband’s heart. She lost that game, she never had a real shot at it at all. She was hurt, alone and miserable, trapped in a position in which many women used to find themselves at: men can – could – get away with cheating, she could not find new love. It was not a fair trade, and she broke down and brought down the system with her.
Harry and William took opposite learnings from their parent’s relationship.
As far most the version go, William was extremely hurt growing up as he was Diana’s best friend (she often pointed that out), so he took the longest to finally get along with his father. Harry has always been closer to Charles, according to Diana. It’s seem fair to trust that version as he was more understanding to accept Camilla, for example. Harry have always shown compassion.
William was also claimed to be “difficult” for unwilling play the role that was expected of him. In the end, he had no real option as he was born to be Charles’ successor, so he was “forced” to eventually accept the game. Still, his hatred for posing for pictures or speaking to the press was almost clear, with few opportunities and rare true smiles.
Harry was on the equation, but as a supportive role, albeit obeying the rules applied to the lead characters. Not a good perspective for happiness.
Coming back to the ill placed advice, William also took his mother’s counseling almost too literally not to marry too fast, which worked for him. Now, as time is putting him closer to his father’s position, William and Charles have finally found a common ground. Change the game now is – for them – impossible and even needless. Not so much for Harry, especially when things are changing and the difference of his role highlighted the gap between him, his brother and father.
Harry and Meghan are being truthful to their feelings, but the breaking point is polarized. They need to speak, the system prefers silence. They do not have common ground.
Underneath it all Harry was hurting and sees now as not having had proper support, echoing the same complaint his own mother had. Even when the Family tried to help, it was not the suitable help. Herein lies the issue. Neglect? Silence? Insensitivity? Sometimes the only way is to get away, and for that it demands understanding from both sides. It seems that on that matter the gap is only widening.
There’s not a lot said about William and Kate that could make them compare pressure. The fewer information we have, the less we can actually discuss whether he was unfaithful, if she planned to meet him at school, if he has a temper, if she disliked Meghan for free, or anything really. It’s how they believe it to be the best way to handle gossip and bullying. However, the pictures that open this post were taken when Meghan had not had a break for seven straight months. She was not able to breathe nor hope for the best in her future then. It was bleak and oppressive. Harry had to make a choice. He chose her, their growing family, their love. In fact, how could he not make THAT choice?
And then it’s about tell all interviews…
The famous Panorama interview, was made (as we know now) under lies and manipulated circumstances. Diana did it as a response to Charles’ interview a year before to the same BBC, which supposedly was a response to her biography published the year before that and to which was also a response to Charles’ own biography published before that. The system Harry explained to still being used. A system that feeds paranoia.
William is right, the interview made things worse between his parents, as exposed Diana to the point that she could no longer be part of the system and scarred both sons even more forever. Diana’s brother and friends claim she later regretted giving that interview (it’s on her biography as well), but we know she also felt vindicated to have shared her side of the story.The Panorama interview was granted through manipulation, but things she said were not.
No one apparently is manipulating Harry and Meghan and they are definitely not lying. They are hurt, but they are also extremely brave, focused and talented. Within a year from their leap for freedom they are established as celebrities and influencers, almost not stepping out of their homes. It is amazing what they will be able to do once they get full freedom. I’m looking forward to it.