Today, January 10, 2024, marks 25 years since TV changed, with the launch of The Sopranos. I’m openly an unconditional fan of the series, whose realism perhaps doesn’t have the same space today. In mafia culture, and worldwide, women had no voice, they were expected to have two roles: lover or mother of the family, accepting men as they are, blah blah blah. In other words, we saw submissive, abused, mistreated and humiliated models parade, but even the strongest women lost space and autonomy to men, especially Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini). Perhaps none like Carmela (Edie Falco), his long-suffering wife.

The role, which almost went to actress Lorraine Bracco, who preferred to play Tony’s analyst Dr. Jennifer Melfi, earned Edie Falco global stardom, several award nominations, including an Emmy: and three times. More than deserved and Edie and Gandolfini’s chemistry helped a lot in the legend that The Sopranos became. Carmela could not be other than Edie Falco.

As we knew, and saw in The Many Saints of Newark, Carmela was Tony’s friend since she was a teenager, his girlfriend and eventually, his wife. When we meet her, she already has two teenage children, Meadow Soprano and Anthony “A.J.”, and she is frustrated (rightfully so) in a marriage where she is constantly cheated on, ignored by her children and without a social role, because when she gets married, she dropped out of school to be a housewife.

While Tony handles the family business, and is the “boss”, no one doubts who really runs the house: Carmela. She understands every rule of the culture they live in, the origin of their life of luxury, but maintains the appearance of legitimacy. If there’s one person Tony trusts, it’s Carmela. But we watch her waste away, suffer and fail to break the mold, gain freedom or even understand what she is or can be. Carmela is constantly psychologically abused by everyone, her children, friends, acquaintances and, especially, Tony.

Catholicism is a factor that makes Carmela’s life even more complex because it is yet another institution whose rules tie her down: she cannot divorce, she feels guilty and still finds herself forced to learn to forgive. On the other hand, she also knows how to use the same bonds to torment her husband. A game so wrong, so tragic and addictive to follow.

And here is another brilliance of The Sopranos, Carmela is both victim and tormentor, sometimes in a single scene. She and Tony have a different relationship with Meadow, their firstborn. They have pride and dreams for her, but in private, mother and daughter are at odds with each other out of jealousy and competition. Carmela sees in her both the independence and success that she always wanted and didn’t see herself as having the ‘right’. And with AJ, like a good Italian mamma, she always spoils him and treats him like a baby.

Whether Carmela is aware of Tony’s murderous side is uncertain, but she deals with her “profession” as if she were just a “con man”, no different from the men who are part of her circle. However, she deeply resents her husband’s infidelity. We follow how his frustration grows and some ‘almost’ relationships happen, such as with Father Phil Intintola, with painter and decorator Vic Musto, and with Furio Giunta, a friend of Tony’s. But his sexual repression is clear in every relationship. After a quick attempt at separation, which led her back to her unhappy marriage, we are thrilled when Carmela finally puts an end to it at the end of season 4.

She starts dating A.J.’s advisor, Robert Wegler and even begins the divorce process, but her son’s problems, in addition to financial challenges, contribute to the breakup with Wegler, and a reconciliation with Tony (this already in season 5). . When Tony spends the entire season in a coma (yes, how about that? An entire season with your protagonist between life and death!), Carmela doesn’t leave his side and when he overcomes it, the bond between them is stronger.

The problem, in current times, is to understand how Carmela does not rebel against the sexist culture around her, even though she took steps towards autonomy at the end of the story. Tragically, she is with Tony in the final scene, in which he is murdered and we are left without knowing what her future would be. Widow, she will be free. Could we celebrate? Do you see how The Sopranos leaves us in a trap? Cheer and celebrate character deaths!

Ultimately, of all the Soprano women – and there are many to name – Carmela maintains the most relevant position. And Edie Falco certainly set the bar higher for other actresses. Another gift that turns 25 years old today.

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