With the release of his new album, Based on a True Story, I was surprised to realize that it had been only three years since we saw, live, one of the greatest Hollywood legends destroy his career. That’s right, on that night in March 2022, Will Smith entered the history of cinema as the protagonist of one of the most bizarre, unexpected, embarrassing, and sad scenes anyone could imagine. A slap, lots of swearing, several tears and a star completely destroyed in front of billions of people around the world.

As an actor and singer adored in the four corners of the planet, a legend in an industry as arid as entertainment, how did he manage to ruin everything so quickly, precisely on the night he was crowned one of the greatest black stars of all time with his win as Best Actor at the Oscars? His emotional breakdown when he went on stage and slapped host Chris Rock in the face became one of the most iconic and unforgettable images of the 21st century. Something that neither of them, despite their mutual hatred, would like to carry around.

What everyone expected was a sincere apology, which never happened. Smith, barred from the Oscars for 10 years, was left with the statuette, the toxic marriage with Jada Pinkett-Smith, and the burden of dealing with the immediate consequences of a thoughtless gesture. There was a statement with a half-apology, but Will Smith would clearly do everything differently, although he still doesn’t regret it. He is emotionally involved, and here is the modern drama: the internet does not forgive.

If Smith wants forgiveness and oblivion, unfortunately, we do not live in the universe of one of his most iconic characters, Agent J from the Men in Black franchise, who erased anyone’s memory with a simple gesture. It doesn’t work that way.

I don’t know about other fans, but that night in 2022 broke my heart into pieces that not even Will Smith’s hope that the world, like him and Meghan Markle, could compare everything to the Japanese technique of kintsugi — in which the shards of a broken piece of pottery are joined with gold powder, leaving the fractures evident, instead of disguised — could mend. It’s easy to understand that this metaphor is a hope for them, but the popular saying “only time heals wounds” is unbeatable. And real-time, not digital time. Waiting is torture.

For Smith, this journey is conflicting, because a year earlier, all the media outlets were already expressing concerns about his mental health, aggravated by his “open” marriage with Jada, where her therapeutic process of brutal and public honesty further exposed the star, previously known for being playful, talented and light.

Jada shared intimate truths about the couple, revealing facts that no one wanted to know. From asking him which women he would like to have in his “harem,” to admitting to a brief affair with rapper August Alsina (a friend of Will and Jada’s son), talking about the abuse Will suffered in his family, the violent fights with his father, and even revealing that the actor didn’t always know how to satisfy her sexually. She also revealed that Will was jealous of her with Tupac Shakur and, in his midlife crisis, experimented with ayahuasca. When Will said he had contemplated suicide, we almost joined him. Why know all this about him, especially when he was ostentatiously smiling and happy on the red carpets?

But those who knew all this froze when he went on stage and approached Chris Rock after the comedian made a bad joke about Jada. The most unexpected thing was that, instead of winning over the fans, with a single slap, Will Smith lost everything. He was only left with Jada.

The relationship between the two, despite all the unnecessary transparency, is none of our business. Any layman can see that this is not healthy, and the tragedy was already announced. By slapping himself, Will Smith committed public suicide, since it is virtually impossible to come back from this action.

It is difficult for the actor to “acknowledge his mistake” when he still finds justifications for what he did. There is a logic to what he did, no one denies it, but, in addition to being insufficient, it does not exempt him from guilt. Using scenes from Bad Boys, making jokes about slapping, or now making raps where he claims to be “only human” and “hate when he loses control” is also a way of denying the root of the problem and insisting on his emotional version of the truth.

Just four years ago, Will Smith was the only black actor in history to break records with eight consecutive films, grossing more than 100 million dollars at the box office. He wanted the Oscar, and in 2022, “it’s his turn.” Now, at 56, he still has fans, but it is in music that he finds space to be who he would like people to continue to think he is. Based on a True Story is his first new album in 20 years. It’s a shame that there’s little that’s “true” about it. It remains to be seen whether nostalgia will be enough for its return.

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