In the second episode of Merteiul – The Seduction, I continue my determined hate-watch, only to confirm something unexpected: in terms of plot, the French version is actually on a much stronger path than the Starz series. Still melodramatic? Absolutely. Still chaotic? Completely. But at least the narrative knows the game it wants to play.

We begin with Isabelle — now a Marquise — trying to adjust to her marriage of convenience with the Marquis de Merteiul, who keeps her practically hidden from society after the scandal at the Comte de Gercourt’s little soirée. Obsessed with the French campaign in the American colonies, he barely notices the frustration of his young, stunning wife. In his mind, he has sex and a beautiful woman at home — what problems could there be?

But now that she has a title and fortune, Isabelle wants more. She seeks out Rosemonde to apologize and to ask for help: she wants to enter society, enjoy her new position, and ideally avoid depending forever on an older, foolish, possessive husband. She convinces the Marquis de Merteiul to host a fundraising party for the French war effort, with him as the public face, but she needs Rosemonde for everything. Isabelle knows no one and has no idea how to host according to aristocratic etiquette.

The obstacle? Gercourt. He sabotages every attempt the two women make, refusing to attend and ensuring the rest of the aristocracy will decline as well. Valmont, determined to win Isabelle back, offers to help, but Rosemonde hesitates. After all, he ruined everything once before. When it becomes clear that he is the only one capable of bypassing Gercourt’s blockade, aunt and nephew reunite as the infernal duo.

Meanwhile, at home, Isabelle stews in frustration. The Marquis seeks her out in bed, disappoints her almost comically, and she laughs, humiliating him so thoroughly that the next morning he announces an immediate departure to the war in Canada (from which, I suspect, he won’t return).

Alone — or believing she would be — Isabelle lets Rosemonde convince her that they need Valmont. The trio then plans a classic Dangerous Liaisons maneuver: secure the presence of the Duc de Royan, Gercourt’s closest friend, and force Gercourt to attend as well.

The strategy? Seduce Juliette Royan through her music teacher, who would take her virginity and provide Valmont with the perfect piece of blackmail. To that end, Rosemonde locates the “gifted” and well-endowed Chevalier de Danceny.

Yes, the show is already mixing everything together. We now have Danceny, we have Cécile de Volanges, and the family tree has been rearranged: Madame de Volanges is now the Marquis’s sister, mother to Cécile, both staying with Isabelle while Merteiul is abroad.

From here, chaos reigns. Isabelle continues to resist Valmont, but the two work side by side. Since Juliette is far too terrible to sing at the party, Cécile secretly provides the real vocals from behind the curtains. It works: the performance draws in Royan, and of course, Gercourt follows shortly behind. He sees Cécile and instantly falls in love — or pretends to — a detail that will surely come back around.

Before that, though, Juliette proves she isn’t naive at all: she figures out Valmont’s scheme and willingly offers herself for the plan. Danceny is not her type — Cécile, meanwhile, seems thoroughly smitten with him — but Juliette is smart enough to recognize strategy when she sees it.

Then comes the bigger drama: Valmont notices something Isabelle was trying to hide: she is pregnant. While she keeps her husband “updated” with half-truths and Madame de Volanges writes increasingly suspicious letters to her brother, it is Valmont who perceives what is really happening.

Without hesitation, Isabelle drinks an abortive potion, falls ill, and is taken care of by her former lover. Madame de Volanges sees them holding hands and immediately interprets the worst: she writes to her brother, warning of a possible conspiracy.

The truth forming in front of us is that, yes, Isabelle is attracted to Valmont, but even more, she is enjoying having a house and power entirely to herself. And Madame de Volanges, as it turns out, will be a real obstacle.

Ironically, the party becomes a resounding success, elevating the Marquise de Merteiul to a position of prominence among the French nobility. And when Gercourt’s flowers arrive addressed to Cécile, Isabelle instantly understands the game: if the Comte wants a virgin so badly, there are ways to deceive him and humiliate him.

Maybe this idea of telling the Dangerous Liaisons story early, with a young Merteuil and a young Valmont, will work. What’s certain is that hearts will break — and we know it long before they do.