The film Barbie, thanks to its quality and a massive marketing campaign puts on the agenda one of the most complex dramas for a woman: balancing femininity and feminism. If men agreed to bet on equity, there would be less suffering, but, as things are, we went for the binary. Something that Greta Gerwig‘s film addresses with humor and intelligence. America Ferrera‘s monologue, already highlighted on social networks, reminds me of one of the best anthems about the dilemma, of course, signed by Madonna.

With What It Feels Like For A Girl, from the Music album (once again proving the queen’s pioneering spirit, which she nailed 22 years earlier), Madonna reflects the paradoxes expected of a woman and for a woman. The lyrics open with her teasing that all men want to know is ‘What does it feel like in a girl?’ And, as she mentioned at the time, her inspiration was Britney Spears. Britney started her conflict process with photographers and critics.

In 2001, Madonna, who for several decades only had Princess Diana as a rival in the unwanted most photographed person on the planet, was already in a moment of maturity and control, identified the pain of fame in the young American singer. She was also in a personal moment of decision (and judgment). Pregnant with her second child, Rocco, she was not yet married to his father, director Guy Ritchie, and in order to join him, she needed to move to England. It was what she ended up doing, but all the pressure on women’s shoulders made her stop to reflect.

The starting point is the opposite of the question that opens the song: why are men afraid of a strong, independent, and secure woman? The opening line, in the voice at the beginning of the song, is that of Charlotte Gainsbourg, in the controversial 1993 film The Cement Garden. “Girls can wear jeans, Cut their hair short, Wear shirts and boots ‘cause it’s okay to be a boy But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading ‘cause you think that being a girl is degrading. But secretly you’d love to know what it’s like, wouldn’t you? What it feels like for a girl” she says in the movie.

And this is what Madonna discusses, the differences in what a woman should or can demonstrate in order not to threaten anyone: “Strong inside, but you don’t know that. Good little girls, they never show it. When you open your mouth to speak, can you be a little weak?” she sings. “Hurt that shouldn’t show and tears that fall when no one knows. When you’re striving to be your best self, could you be a little less?”

And this is what America says in Barbie:

“You are so beautiful and so smart and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. We have to always be extraordinary but somehow we’re always doing it wrong. We have to be thin but not too thin, and we can never say we want to be thin you have to say you want to be healthy. But also you have to be thin. You have to have money but you can’t ask for money. Because that’s crass. You have to be a boss but you can’t be mean. You have to lead but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother but you don’t talk about your kids all the damn. You have to be a career woman, but also look out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior which is insane but if you point that out you’re accused of complaining. Because you’re supposed to stay pretty for men but not so pretty you tempt them too much or you threaten other women. Because you’re supposed to be part of the sisterhood but always stand out. And always be grateful but never forget that the system is rigged so find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard, it’s too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal and says thank you. And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong but also everything is your fault. I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single woman tie herself into knots so that people like us. If all of that is also true of a doll just representing a woman, then I don’t even know.”

All that was missing was What It Feels Like For a Girl in the background.

Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots ‘cause it’s okay to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
‘Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you’d love to know what it’s like, wouldn’t you?
What it feels like for a girl

Silky smooth lips as sweet as candy
Baby, tight blue jeans
Skin that shows in patches

Strong inside but you don’t know it
Good little girls, they never show it
When you open up your mouth to speak could you be a little weak?

Do you know what it feels like for a girl?
Do you know what it feels like in this world for a girl?

Hair that twirls on fingertips so gently
Baby, hands that rest on jutting hips repenting

Hurt that’s not supposed to show and tears that fall when no one knows
When you’re trying hard to be your best could you be a little less?

Do you know what it feels like for a girl?
Do you know what it feels like in this world for a girl?

Do you know what it feels like for a girl?
Do you know what it feels like in this world
What it feels like for a girl?

Strong inside but you don’t know it
Good little girls, they never show it
When you open up your mouth to speak could you be a little weak?

Do you know what it feels like for a girl?
Do you know what it feels like in this world for a girl?

Do you know what it feels like for a girl?
Do you know what it feels like in this world for a girl in this world?
Do you know?
Do you know?
Do you know what it feels like for a girl?
What it feels like in this world

But it’s worth remembering that Madonna was always Madonna and controversy was never far away. The video for the song was directed by Guy Ritchie, whose signature is a mixture of slow motion and a lot of violence. So we see Madonna leading a violent crime spree, which ends with a car accident that symbolizes suicide. The singer claimed at the time that the message was anti-violence so she portrayed violence in a graphic way. Critics didn’t buy the idea and it’s one of the least circulated videos from the singer, who has always loved controversy.

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