In the medieval period, in which Game of Thrones was set, women had only two values: politics and lineage. Their fortune was managed and assumed by their husband, and their children ensured the continuity of their families. In this way, they were pieces for strategic alliances, nothing more than that. Even strong women like Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke) “needed” the validation of a husband to have a voice.

In House of the Dragon, it is no different: Rhaenyra (Emma D’Arcy) married twice for political reasons (yes, including Daemon Targaryen (Matt Smith), her uncle and ally) and offered the hands of her children at crucial moments of negotiation. Love would be a bonus and a lot of luck.

With that in mind, we’re back in the realm of speculation, wondering “What if” Daenerys had done what she had promised to do—get married as soon as she arrived in Westeros—to gain allies in her quest for the Iron Throne. Why did she ultimately back out?

We had her eye on a political union before she arrived in Westeros, and yet the very second she had the perfect candidate in front of her—the “King in the North,” Jon Snow (Kit Harington)—she went against him. Then, when she had already fallen in love with Jon, she didn’t make the alliance and instead shifted to her goal of ruling alone. Why?

Since the tension between politics and personal feelings is one of the most complex aspects of Game of Thrones, it’s worth reevaluating.

Daenerys and Jon Snow

On the advice of Tyrion (Peter Dinklage), Daenerys broke up with her lover, Daario Naharis (Michiel Huisman), the former lieutenant of the Second Sons’ sellsword company who became her advisor and enforcer, to free herself for a political marriage. Both Tyrion and Ser Jorah Mormont (Iain Glenn), on paper, could be considered since they both came from important Westerosi families, but they were not considered by her precisely because they were also exiled men and in conflict with their Houses.

For those who followed the series, the refusal was equally important to leave the way open for Jon Snow, but why not other houses? There were several. In any case, Daenerys’ refusal to marry Jon when the opportunity presented itself is a mix of political and emotional reasons that determined the tragic conclusion for her.

Daenerys’ Ambition and Control

Daenerys fought long and hard to take the Iron Throne. By the time she met Jon, she was already fixated on her destiny as the one true ruler of Westeros, and she likely viewed any political union (even one with someone as powerful as Jon) as potentially diluting her authority.

Daenerys wanted to be seen as a legitimate ruler in her own right, not as someone who had to rely on marriage for power. How modern of her! The problem of the narrative inconsistency of the previous season’s conclusion needs to be highlighted.

So when Jon was revealed to be Aegon Targaryen, she felt even more threatened. A marriage to him, in her eyes, would have made her seem secondary, even though they were both Targaryens.

Emotional Turmoil

By the time she realized that her feelings for Jon were deepening, Daenerys was already in a highly precarious emotional state. She had suffered betrayal, isolation, and a long series of disappointments, and Jon’s refusal to hide his identity from his family only increased her distrust. As much as she might care for him, she also saw him as a rival who could potentially take her crown. And, let’s not forget, the political dynamics were changing rapidly. Jon’s loyalties still lay with his people, and he had a much stronger personal connection to the North than to Daenerys’s dream of conquering the South. In her mind, marrying him may have been a threat to her claim, especially after discovering her true heritage.

Daenerys wasn’t wrong. The moment the secret “leaked,” they wanted Jon as their King rather than her as their Queen. His disinterest in Power was irrelevant.

Targaryen Pride

The Targaryens have a history of ruling with an iron will, and Dany was no different. This goes back to her deep desire to restore the power and legacy of her house. Marrying Jon, while politically logical, may have seemed like an unnecessary compromise of that vision. She didn’t want to be a supporting character in someone else’s story. So in a way, her refusal to marry Jon was a manifestation of her own fears of losing power, her pride, and her inability to balance her political goals with personal feelings.

Result: Everyone lost

Isolated, paranoid, and headstrong, Daenerys ended up proving every fear imposed on her, rather than proving them wrong. Even those who believe that Jon’s reaction, who was averse to incest and began to reject any romantic relationship with his aunt – something he only discovered to be true too late – determined Danny’s downfall, is not true.

Of course, Jon would have alleviated the drama if he had been by her side, but at the same time, he ran a high risk because of his proximity because Daenerys could decide to kill him to end the threat. We know (or hope) that she would never reach that position, but her actions leave us in doubt. In the end, Daenerys went down in history as a destroyer, Jon as an exiled traitor and the Targaryen dynasty came to an end.

Sansa’s political calculations

Although Cersei Lannister (Lena Heady) was Daenerys’s declared enemy, the Mother of Dragons’ main opponent was Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner).

Sansa is one of the most intelligent and politically savvy characters in Game of Thrones, and I argue that she should have been able to see how a marriage between Jon and Daenerys could have been beneficial. But there are a few reasons why she didn’t.

Protecting the North

Sansa’s ultimate loyalty has always been to the North. She didn’t care about the throne of Westeros, only about the North remaining independent, and she saw Jon’s loyalty to the North as the best way to ensure that.

Sansa believed that if Jon married Daenerys and they succeeded in conquering the Seven Kingdoms, the North would lose its autonomy. A marriage alliance, while it might have been a politically shrewd move, would signify Jon’s loyalty to Daenerys and her vision of Westeros, not the North. So for her, it wasn’t just about who Jon would marry—it was about what that marriage would mean for the future of the North.

Her Personal Ambitions

Sansa also had her own growing ambitions. She had been through so much—betrayal, manipulation, suffering—and by the end of the series, she had become a formidable political leader. She wouldn’t let anyone (not even Jon) get in the way of her vision for the future of the North.

Sansa also had a deep distrust of Daenerys, and rightfully so. Daenerys was, at this point, seen as unstable and potentially a threat. Sansa knew how important it was to have a strong leader who understood the region, and Jon, in her eyes, was that leader—marrying Daenerys would have complicated that.

Distrust of Daenerys

Sansa was not a fan of Daenerys, especially after seeing her destructive tendencies. After Daenerys burned King’s Landing, Sansa became even more wary of her. While Daenerys was focused on her personal desire to conquer Westeros, Sansa’s priority was always protecting her people and her home. She knew that marriage to Daenerys would risk aligning Jon with someone who had already proven himself ruthless, and in her mind, a leader who was too driven by power could jeopardize the security of the North.

Her Strategy

In Sansa’s mind, Jon had no claim to the throne of Westeros—he only had a claim to the North, and she knew he would likely respect that. Had Jon married Daenerys, his claim to the Iron Throne would have been much stronger, and that would have further undermined Sansa’s ambitions for the North. By keeping Jon separate from Daenerys’s influence, Sansa saw an opportunity to maintain the North’s independence.

Why didn’t Jon and Danny marry?

Both Jon and Daenerys were trapped in their own visions of what should happen in Westeros, but those visions conflicted. Jon, a Northerner, would never have accepted Daenerys’s ambition to seize the South at the expense of the North’s sovereignty. Meanwhile, Daenerys was unwilling to compromise her own political ambitions in the face of Jon’s potential challenge to her authority. They both wanted to do what was best for their respective peoples, but their motivations and values ​​didn’t align well enough to create a stable union. Sansa, on the other hand, was focused on keeping the North free from Southern influence, and that meant not supporting Jon’s potential marriage to Daenerys.

While it would have been politically advantageous for all of them, the stakes were so high and their personal ambitions so strong that compromise seemed impossible. In the end, what we saw was a perfect storm of personal emotion, political calculation, and deep-seated loyalty to their individual causes, all of which contributed to the collapse of the potential marriage alliance. It’s a testament to how complex politics (and personal feelings) can be on Game of Thrones.

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