Back in July 2020, in the depths of the pandemic, when the real world had shrunk to the size of a single room and all we had left was some form of escape without leaving the house, The Old Guard landed on Netflix with the swagger of a real blockbuster. It was what we then called an “event content” release: Charlize Theron, international locations, stylized fight scenes, and a mythology complex enough to distract us from the mounting virus numbers. Even among Netflix’s usual rushed fare, the first Old Guard felt a bit more solid, more cohesive, more ready — or at least ready enough to seduce us in that emotional void. Escapism was the name of the game, and it worked.

But now, four years later, with theaters open again, life spinning almost like it used to, and audiences more impatient than ever, The Old Guard 2 arrives late, weakened — and worst of all — irrelevant. And that raises a question that maybe goes beyond the film itself: Was that kind of grand, otherworldly fantasy only so effective because we were desperate for anything that didn’t resemble reality? Now that we’re back to bills, traffic, politics, and deadlines, has that kind of fantasy simply lost its power?

The sequel, finally released after a messy production that started in 2022, seems painfully aware that time has passed. The film stumbles trying to remind us what the first one was about — and when a studio has to recruit its stars to recap the previous installment as a marketing strategy, you can already smell the creative panic. Worse: the franchise’s universe, based on Greg Rucka’s comic series, isn’t exactly accessible. Its convoluted mythology demands we pause, dig up an old synopsis, or revisit Wikipedia just to remember who’s who and why we’re even watching this. It’s a chore. And escapism that feels like homework, in 2025, needs to be truly brilliant to be worth the effort.

Unfortunately, The Old Guard 2 isn’t. What should have been a vibrant, escapist action film turns into a tangle of poorly tied plots, vanishing subplots, unconvincing characters, and fight scenes that lack half the punch of the original — partly due to the switch from director Gina Prince-Bythewood to Victoria Mahoney, who clearly brings a different, more generic approach.

The only real spark of energy comes from Charlize Theron, who remains a magnetic screen presence even when the material doesn’t deserve her. She returns as Andy, who had lost her immortality in the first film, which should, in theory, add a layer of danger and urgency to every fight. But in practice, that tension never materializes. The threat, like most things here, exists only in theory. An old companion (Ngô Thanh Vân) returns after centuries of punishment, and joins forces with a humanity-hating immortal (Uma Thurman), and Andy’s team must step in. It’s the kind of setup that could work — but here it feels hastily scribbled on a napkin.

And while the first film surprised us with a tender queer romance between two immortals (complete with a passionate kiss mid-battle), the sequel cowardly walks all that back. The same characters now barely touch. The “representation” becomes a vague afterthought, and the relationship between Andy and her former partner — explicitly romantic in the comics — is watered down into a vague “longtime companionship.” The timing couldn’t be more ironic: released just after Pride Month, the film feels eager to undo any boldness from its predecessor.

The short runtime (just under 97 minutes without credits) should be a relief, but it ends up feeling rushed. The whole film seems thrown together in a state of panic, with a third act that doesn’t resolve much of anything and ends on a cliffhanger so abrupt it borders on disrespect. Charlize Theron, Uma Thurman, and even Chiwetel Ejiofor deserved better than this half-formed script. There’s a suggestion that Thurman’s character could become central in The Old Guard 3 — but slight problem: there’s been no official confirmation that a third installment is even happening. And frankly, maybe that’s for the best. As it stands, the project flirts dangerously with the same fate as the Divergent saga, which ended unfinished and unfulfilled.

In the end, what struck me most about The Old Guard 2 wasn’t just the weak writing, the direction without pulse, or the laziness with which once-compelling characters were treated. It was the realization that maybe this kind of high-concept fantasy — epic in scale, dressed up as modern action — peaked when the real world was too much to bear. During the pandemic, we craved impossible worlds because our own was unbearably real. Now, with life rebalanced, this kind of universe no longer feels urgent or comforting. Just artificial.

And that, ironically, is more tragic than any on-screen death. Because it shows that time has passed. And not even immortals are immune to it.